Truth Hits Everybody - Pt. 9...

9) I Make No Resolutions That I Know I'll Never Keep...

New Year's Day is upon us all and I've been taking a little time recently to put things in perspective. Normally on a day such as this, you will hear/read/see countless articles/entries/programs covering "predictions of the coming year," resolutions made and in-depth looks back at events of the previous year.

Here's my recap:

In 2007, I worked a hell of a lot.

I managed to knock off a few days here and there to go goof off, notably tubing and a very brief trip to the Gulf Coast.

I didn't write, Photoshop or web design anything of consequence.

I did, however, make a kickass retirement video for my Dad, which I was very proud of.

Besides that, I didn't create much in regards of my own stuff, but essentially assigned most of my creative brainpower to the various projects I've had at work.

I think I lost a best friend who'd I worked closely with on various projects over the past few years as well as just having a good time whenever we could. I think this one just happened like things sometimes do and it's a shame. Tried to contact a bunch of times, to no avail. That sucks, but these things happen. My pal moved away to find a better existence and there is not a thing in the world wrong with that.

Another friend also moved away to Illinois, but we still keep in contact.

Another friend moved away to Seattle, but we exchange e-mails here and there.

Fortunately, on the awesome side of things, I reconnected with three excellent colleagues from the past. That made me very happy and I hope to see more of them again soon!

My brother got me hooked on crack this Christmas. Um, World of Warcrack(craft), that is. I may not be able to play every day now that the holidays are officially over with, but I'm sure I'll be there to fight the good fight when I can. I think the awesome part of this is that my bro and I can catch up with each other's lives from time to time while we're beating the ever living piss out of nasty monsters and exploring a huge world. It's a blast of a game, if a little too addicting for my own good. Heh. Yaaay for brotherly battles against great evil for great justice!

I had lots of late night hilarious/awesome/insightful chats with my esteemed colleague, the Honourable Ash of Indiana. Hope your New Year is faaaannnntastic.

I did manage to explore more recipes in the kitchen this year. I do so enjoy the freedom of cooking something new.

I survived '07! Yaay!

I wrote quite a few blog entries (not one per day, mind you) and that makes me grateful to those who stop by my chunk o' words! Happy New Year to you all! :)

In less than 9 hours from now, the last digit in the year will roll over. I mentioned earlier about not making resolutions that I know I'll never keep? Yep, I haven't made a one. I think I'll start this year without any unreasonable expectations and build up from there.

To me, that's the best resolution I know I could make! :)

Happy New Year!

Truth Hits Everybody - Pt. 8...

8) Christmas Keeps Me Busy. Reeeeaallllyyyy Gorammed Busy...



*****EXTREMELY UPPER-CASED WARNING*****

Don't let your kids read this. I don't want certain things in life spoiled for them. I also am ranting about the holiday season in general and I do not want to be your buzzkill. Heh.

Read further at your own discretion.

*****/Warning*******



My last update was on the 6th, so I posted two updates today. Not that this makes up for my absence, mind you, but it does provide a starting place for Holiday Season 2007 - eXtreme Edition!

This month, no, this entire quarter has been a busy one. I've had twice the amount of work to do over last year so I've been spending a lot of time in my editing cave, more so than last year. It'll make my bank account happy to actually have some savable cash in there for a change, but lords did it take a lot of effort to get there.

Remember when you were a kid and December was filled with wonder, excitement and visions of that skateboard or Barbie Dream House that you JUST HAD TO HAVE? What the fuck happened to that, if may I ask in so blunt a fashion?

Truth is, you grew up. You became an adult, worried about finding this and that, dealing with deadlines, uninspiring corporate Christmas parties, putting up with relatives who drive you fecking insane (yet you thought they were the loveliest people when you were a kid), dealing with lines, traffic and the in-rush of unidentifiable fruitcakes and NON-STOP ADS, JINGLES, CAROLS AND OBNOXIOUS ATTEMPTS TO TOUCH YOUR HEARTSTRINGS WITH ONE HAND WHILE THEY SNEAK THEIR OTHER HAND INTO YOUR PURSESTRINGS.

Am I shouting in a slightly hypocritical fashion? Perhaps so. I've worked around retail environments in one form or another for half my life now, so I know the score. This holiday hullabaloo keeps me in a job and without it, I'd be slinging pizza again while looking for another job. That's the truth of the matter.

"Make money. Make more money. Make other people make money.”

-L. Ron Hubbard

Heh. You noticed who the quote was from, eh? Fear not, I haven't started ph34r1ng Xenu's return yet or anything. I will say this for LRH; sick little bastard that he was, he didn't hold back much on his own deranged outlook on life.

I tend to get a little cynical this time of year and that quote from one man's deranged mind seems to sum up for me the unspoken First Law of Retail. Make money at all costs.

It's the reality of it that strikes in my heart. When we were kids, we were told of the jolly fat man who'd carpet bomb the world with peace and joy...

...and loot. We didn't know where it came from, nor did we care. The elves made it, man! Don't question the universal truth of Santa and his benevolent nature.

We'd spend time with the family, play with our toys, get hugs and cookies from grandma. Then we'd spend the day immersed in the awesomeness that was Christmas.

How do you feel about it now? Do you still have that same excitement? Do you count down the days in anticipation of the joy of the day, or do you count down the days until you don't have to hear "Frosty the Snowman" for the umpteenth time?

Kinda digs at you, doesn't it?

Breaks my heart, to be honest. I look at how this month passed and I can't say I feel... Anything besides "thank Deus, THAT'S over."

Perhaps extremely tired, perhaps a little over-negative. I tell myself that today was the finish line, V-Day, The End, but what's left beyond that?

I'm spending time with the family tomorrow and that makes me happy. Not joyful Christmas Spirit happy, mind you, but earnestly goddamned glad to see you kind of happy. Some of my assembled family I haven't seen in 1.65 years since they moved across the continent and I cannot wait to see them. Some others I saw just a month ago, others six months ago.

I know not who in the family is coming, but I hope everyone in reasonable driving distance will stop in at some point. Just to check in, if nothing else. Let me know that they're alive and that they are doing well. I miss the hell out of all of them.

And, selfish as it may sound, I hope to regain a sense of what the Holidays are supposed to be about.

I need that most of all.

Truth Hits Everybody - Pt. 7...

7) I am a strong believer in the concept that a gentleman will walk but never run...

...except when chased.

Truth Hits Everybody - Pt. 6...

6) I can't dance.

Truth Hits Everybody - Pt. 5...

5) Sid Meier is teh awesome.

For those unfamiliar with Sid Meier, he's the main brain behind classic strategy series like Civilization (1-4), Colonization and other titles of note.

I first experienced his world by playing Civ 1 back in '93. For its time, that sucker was advanced. You essentially started off as a national leader (you get to choose from a selection of leaders, countries or can customize your own) in the year 4000 BC. You directed your civilization's growth, trade & technological research throughout the years. You could build and explore the world, go to war or cooperate with your neighbors, whatever you chose to do.

The brilliance in this game was that you could never play the same game twice. Infinite possible endings to your civilization's story. I'd been warned by a friend that this game could suck one in if you weren't careful.

He wasn't kidding. I bought the game on a night before a two day block of time off from work. I think I did little more than sit there and play that damned game. Combined, I believe I spent 34 hours playing that first time.

This was a pattern that was to continue whenever something new would arrive on the market either from Sid Meier or from Will Wright (of Sim City & The Sims fame). A few days of hardcore playing followed by a period of moderated gameplay (a couple hours spread here and there throughout the week) until the next title arrived.

Hell, I still fire up Civ1 and Colonization (1995) to this day. Addictive.

The worst now is that I picked up a copy of Sid Meier's "Pirates!" Basically, you are a pirate out to make a name for yourself, rescue your kidnapped family, pillage and plunder, court the hot daughters of island governors, swordfight rival captains and steal their ships and treasure and more.

So, if I disappear for a bit, you know why! :)

Truth Hits Everybody - Pt. 4...

4) I have a hard time letting go.

I have a hard time recognizing the difference between "Of course we'll stay in touch" and "I never plan on speaking to you again" and actually letting it bother me.

I have a hard time in not looking back, looking within, looking without and looking sideways at things before I take a peek at the possible future.

I have a hard time not finding things that I didn't know I was looking for.

I have a hard time remaining silent in the face of injustice.

I have a hard time saying goodbye and knowing that some goodbyes will last a lifetime even if I don't want them to.

Truth Hits Everybody - Pt. 3...

3) I eat turkey with Marie's Bleu Cheese dressing.

Ambrosia mixed with nectar, my friends...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Truth Hits Everybody - Pt. 2...

2) I dressed as a woman one night this past year.

Yes, it's a true story and BEFORE you start laughing and breaking out the snarky commentary, let me tell you why...

I was approached by a good colleague and friend who had a dilemma on her hands. Her workplace is involved in one of the local Relay For Life fund raisers for the American Cancer Society.

For those unfamiliar with Relay For Life, it is an all night walk/run/skip/hop to help raise funds and awareness for cancer research. These are usually raucous affairs, with tons of music, activities, food and lots and lots of walking. They also have a solemn ceremony to pay tribute to cancer survivors and victims complete with a roll call and luminaries in their honour. Overall, Relay's a ton of fun and I've taken part in one Relay or another for about five years now.

Normally, I help out with things like setup/takedown, take pictures of the event and also do my turn as a walker. In years past, I used to take teh Kate with me and she'd keep me company for the miles ahead.

Oh, for the salad days when all I had to do was walk ten miles and take a few pictures, right?

Well, this year I was tapped for something different. As part of these events, there is in some Relays an event called the "Mr./Ms. Relay Pageant." While some Relays hold to a convention of the males running for the "Mr." title and ladies for the "Ms." title, many choose to switch to the more hilarious "cross-dressing" option.

Yep, I was asked to stand for Ms. Relay.

I wasn't so sure that I was prepared to accept this mission, so I told them, "lemme know if no one else signs up for this first..." Uh huh, yeah, good plan.

So, a few weeks later, there I stood...

The theme this year for the team was sort of a Surfin' For Teh Cure motif and the ladies pooled together resources to transform me from a 6ft 4in tower of virile manliness (heh) to a 6ft 4in surfer babe. A curly blonde wig was provided as were a t-shirt with a female figure (complete with coconuts over teh boobies), a tasteful black ankle length skirt with tasteful flowers on one leg and a large cowboy surferesque sunhat to cover the wig.

I dressed at my friend's apartment and was scheduled to go on around 0230, which was a silent blessing in my mind. I hauled on the skirt, shirt, wig and hat. I was not about to stuff fake boobies in my shirt since I always found that tacky. Hey, if I'm going to the length of dressing up as a gal for the evening, I could at least avoid the obvious stereotypes that go along with men dressing in drag.

Think about it ladies. When a straight guy dresses in drag, what is the NUMBER ONE thing you notice about them right off the bat?

If you answered "fake boobs the size of 747's," you get five points! So, I refused to give into the obvious and skipped the shirt stuffing altogether.

A little toenail polish, lipstick and a pair of flip-flops later and I was a surfer babe alright. I sat in front of the mirror and stared at myself for a few moments before I summoned the courage to step out into the apartment proper.

As the "oooo's" and "ahhhhh's" commenced from the assembled rabble, I padded to the kitchen and chugged a beer.

Then, I had another one. Courage level increasing.

Thirty minutes later, I sucked down one last beer before we had to go. By then, I was feeling alright and it didn't seem to bother me as much that I looked like the ugliest drag queen ever.

We arrived at the event and the British part of me took over. I managed to handle the joking and snarky commentary with a level of calm reserve.

The pageant began and we each had to give a spiel with our "escorts" (ladies dressed as men in hopes of snagging the Mr. Relay title) before walking around the track a few times begging for change. I pretty much had my lines down pat but found myself ad libbing a lot due to the shitty microphone crapping out at the most inappropriate times.

Still, we muddled through it with a bunch of comedy and then we started our walk while the other "contestants" started their spiels.

After a while, we were re-assembled for the results...

...and I was the belle of the ball! Yep, I was voted Ms. Relay - 2007. They gave me some roses, a tiara and a sash and I got to walk around the track for another hour or so with the gal elected "Mr. Relay" as part of my courtly duties.

Overall, the team I was helping ended up getting the most donations, so we were later treated to free fajitas and booze for our efforts. Overall, it was a good evening to get all dizzied up for, neh?

Heh.

Truth Hits Everybody...

Today, in honour of Thanksgiving Day being tomorrow, I offer the top ten true tales of yours truly for two-thousand and seven. Not every entry will contain words that begin with the letter "T", but some may. Regardless of whether they have a "T" in them or not, the truth is in every segment. These tidbits of trivia are arranged in no particular order and are pulled at random from my brain. I hope you enjoy these memories with me.

So, let's begin...

1) I learned how to make chicken pot pie from scratch (except for the pie crust, which admittedly was store bought).

I really should share the recipe soon, especially since it's starting to get fecking cold out there. The reason why I'm proud of this accomplishment is that I love cooking.

There's something almost artistic about crafting food items in such a way that they will be tasty and hopefully pleasant to digest. I rarely have an appreciative audience so I find myself experimenting more for my own pleasure than anything else.

The prospect of making things from scratch is sometimes daunting, more so if there is a time constraint, which is why I have a backup list of easy to make meals that I run through over the course of two weeks. If I have time, I'll play a little with my food. I love to frig with recipes as well as to experiment with new ideas.

And would you believe that I'm able to cook dinner for $3 to $7 on most nights?

As odd as it may seem, I didn't really learn how to cook by watching my mom do it. True, she is an awesome cook in her own right, but it was really her father who first piqued my interest in the craft of home cookery. My grandfather, who had learned for himself how to cook by way of both cooking meals in the firehouse as well as learning at the feet of my grandmother (who could out-cook Chef Ramsey any day of the week and twice on Sunday).

It was after my grandmother's illness set in that my granddad took over the cooking full time. I was at the time a starving college kid, so finding foodstuffs that broke up the usual monotonous string of ramen, spaghetti, ramen and hot dogs was a priority.

For my birthday one year, he sent me a pressure cooker. Once I learned how to use the thing properly... Ach mein gott! Tastyfoods galore.

We used to trade recipes, everything from Chicken & Dumplings to those meat sandwiches that my grandma used to make for us. I learned a lot of getting the most for my dollar when it came to the food budget and found that I actually enjoyed the process of cooking, a form of creativity in itself.

-----To be continued