A Moment...

So long, Teddy...

A Little Something For You To Enjoy...

Because I hate you all...



Enjoy!

Porn Toys of the Third Reich - NSFW...

Was chatting with my best friend, who is also named Robert, earlier today and had probably one of the more hilarious and completely socially inappropriate conversations of the week. Robert, as I may have mentioned in the past, is a historian and shares the same demented sense of humor as I do.

We started off discussing the History Channel and how it used to focus primarily on World War II, specifically the forces of Germany, the Nazi Party and all things Hitler related. We thought it was a bit strange that we practically knew just about everything about the Fuhrer's breakfast choices, but little about how the German people had, uh, "special nighttime relations" in those days.

After a few comments on how Goering most likely enjoying being spanked while he wore adult diapers, we took it to a completely unnecessary level...



I won't lie to you folks, this entry is downright disgraceful, so read on if you dare and please don't do it at work.



12:25pmRobert
Hmmm, for their History of Sex series, we can have a show on Sex Toys of the Third Reich. "The U-Boat dildo was popular with many German women at the time..."

12:26pmMe
Although the wives of the elite preferred the "Blitzkreig Baby," which was created out of the same technology used by the Luftwaffe.

12:27pmRobert
LOL

12:27pmMe
A failed personal pleasure device was the Vag-2 rocket, which tended to explode when set to the maximum vibrating setting.

12:28pmRobert
I am almost crying with laughter!

12:28pmMe
Vag-2 Pocket Rocket sounds better.

Heh.

With the Vag-1 Buzzer, you were guaranteed to cry with pleasure, make no mistake.

12:29pmRobert
LOL

"The sales slogan was 'Show no mercy for your twat!'"

---------

I fear for the world if we ever decided to put our twisted brains to ill purposes...

Trap Door Sprang Open...

Random thought I had for the day was this:

If one was to scream in a vacuum, would there be cows in Antarctica?

Moving on to my next thought of the day, I finally heard of Jon & Kate Gosselin and immediately wanted to smack my face with a hammer. We really need to stop caring about people who become celebrities based purely on the fact that they are raising an orchard full of crotchfruit.

Naturally, the station that broadcasts their trainwreck, The Learning Channel, also airs a program centered around the goings on of the Duggar family, a large family living in Arkansas. I think that last I heard they had 18 kids and were hoping for number 19?

I'm all for people having kids. As long as they take care of them, love them, raise them with good character and are not a financial burden on the taxpayer, more power to you.

The issue I have is this glorification of it. Eighteen kids is quite a milestone, but not something that deserves constant media attention.

Indeed, I found myself taking umbrage with the network's name. "The Learning Channel" seems a bit disingenious to me. Checking on their schedule, it seemed like hour after hour of the Gosselins, the Duggars, pregnancy, being obese and pregnant, being impoverished/rich/middle class and pregnant, and the delivery of newborn children.

I believe that they should drop the facade and change their name to something else. For example:

"The Learning About The Various Stages of Pregnancy, Delivery and the Raising of Multiple Children Channel"

Or, to shorten that a bit, why not call it the "Crotchfruit Orchard Channel?" I can just imagine the Beavis and Butthead response to that one.

Huhhuhhuhhuh, that shortens to COC.
Hehheheheh, yeah! You said "coc."

Alright, if that last one sounds a bit crass, I offer to you the simple and more 'family friendly' moniker, "The Knocked Up Channel."

The other thing that gets me is the "WE" channel, or "Women's Entertainment" as it is formally addressed. I do not poke at the channel itself, per se, just that it boggles my mind that one really needs sixteen hours of wedding shows per scheduled day with the occasional 'Movie of the Week' thrown in to keep things real.

Seems like most of the girlfriends and gay friends that I've ever had were absolutely transfixed by this channel, which, if this is a fair scientific sample of the populace at large, explains the success of this channel. Not my personal cup of tea, but I've had to sit through several shows over the years thanks to said girlfriends past.

Getting to the heart of the matter, I would rather watch shows about cattle grazing than WE's fare. I'm not a violent man by nature, but I found myself wanting to punch each Bridezilla out - Buzz Aldrin style.

It's like reliving 75% of the weddings I ever shot, edited or attended. It's the "Bride's Special Day" so naturally she has to act like a complete selfish bulldog brat and make everyone within a five mile radius completely miserable.

Seriously, why give them a show? I can see the "laughing at their unruly behaviour" angle, but why encourage this type of behaviour by showcasing it?

Not for me, friends. Instead of "Platinum Spoiled Rich Weddings," I'm quite happy watching with "Ice Road Truckers" (even though I have no fucking clue what the hell THAT show is doing on the HISTORY channel).

One thing I'd like to see would be one of the Bridezillas, fully dressed in their gowns, hauling pipe to Deadhorse, Alaska in -40 degree ice storms. That would be bloody awesome.