Yesterday, Today Was Tomorrow...

First off, I hope that everyone has had as much rest and fun as can be had this week! To each and everyone of you, I wish an awesome happy time, for however you feel about life, the universe and the mysteries of the afterlife and of creation itself, you definitely deserve it regardless.

It's been a mixed bag for me of late, some of you may have already been aware thanks to the tone of my recent most posts, hell, a good chunk of posts I've made both here and some choice sections in the early part of the old QTV blog. I came this close *tightly clenches thumb and index finger tightly together* to chucking it all in as far as this blog was concerned, which for me is pretty damned controversial for those who know me.

The big reason behind these thoughts was because I was tired of sitting here bitching and moaning while feeling like I was just being untrue to myself, to my readers, to my blog and its real purpose. When I first created this personal blog, I did it so as to distance my internal struggles, deep thoughts and personal hilarious debris from the happy funtime blog that I originally intended the QTV blog to be.

The QTV blog was meant to be fun and when I saw myself putting way too much "me" into it, that was my sign that I needed an auxiliary dump site for the parts of "me" that weren't all about having a good time. Later, when I realized that I haven't updated the QTV blog itself in over a year, that was my next sign.

Two thousand and eight was a rough year. Not just for myself, but for pretty much everyone around me. Some years are just like that and they tend to help you cherish the good years that much more.

I guess what I'm getting at is that while I don't place a ton of stock in New Year's resolutions and the concept of the New Year being this magical dry erase board where one can start over anew, I do believe in the concept that people can change their situation if they have the right motivation to do so.

Finding what works and motivates me right here and now is what I'm working on. Wanting to take a poll, so bear with me:

What motivates you and are you following up on all that cool stuff you wanted to do with your life?

If you're not, why aren't you?

Happy New Year to all and to all a good year!

Cheer Up, Emo Kid...

They call it Han.

Han isn't easily translated directly to English from the native Korean language. Korean theologian Suh Nam-dong once described Han as a "feeling of unresolved resentment against injustices suffered, a sense of helplessness because of the overwhelming odds against one, a feeling of acute pain in one's guts and bowels, making the whole body writhe and squirm, and an obstinate urge to take revenge and to right the wrong -- all these combined."

It is a unique word for a unique culture, one that has struggled through the ages against oppression, occupation, victory and defeat. An episode of The West Wing entitled "Han" delves slightly into this concept throughout.

In "Han," one of the characters in the episode is a noted pianist from North Korea who visits Washington D.C. to perform for the President of the United States, Jed Bartlet, in a special concert. The pianist, seeking to free himself from the oppressive government he lives under, finds a way to ask the President for political asylum.

President Bartlet finds himself unable to grant the pianist's request due to circumstances surrounding an important diplomatic meeting between the United States and North Korea. Bartlet decides to tell the pianist privately that if he chooses to claim asylum, the President wouldn't do anything to stop him but that this defection could directly affect the outcome of the ongoing diplomatic meeting.

While playing a piece by Chopin, the pianist asks Bartlet if he was familiar with the word "han." Bartlet admits that he has no idea and the pianist switches to a more somber, extremely dark lament piece to help illustrate the concept.

Towards the end of the episode, Bartlet is talking with one of his staff and muses, "There is no literal English translation. It's a state of mind. Of soul, really. A sadness. A sadness so deep no tears will come. And yet still there's hope."

There is still hope.

Trapped

Felt like this so many times.
And I didn't realize before.
The Key to One's Freedom
Lies deep inside Within.