You've Got Red On You...

Ta Daaaaaaaa!

Overall, I was amused with the final costume. If you'd asked me on Thursday, I wouldn't have been so sure with the lack of a cricket bat and all. Click the picture on the right to super size for frightful, closeup viewing action.

Alright, here's the breakdown:

First of all, pen ink takes an eternity to dry properly. I had squirted red ink all over the inside corner of the shirt pocket on... Thursday? ...and it still wasn't properly 100% dried by Saturday night. I learned rather quickly to not cross my arms over my shirt unless I wanted a sexy red blotch all over my arm.

The More You Know...
=============*
(woosh)

It wasn't the end of the world though. Since I deliberately decided to go out looking like I'd already smashed a few zombie heads in, blood and red nastiness was perfectly acceptable. Even took a little cosmetic blood and painted it on my face a bit.

The other oops was in regards to the hair colour. I opted for the cheap spray on fake colouring that washes out in the shower. It was sort of an orangish colour, which when combined with my natural hair colour gives it a slightly yellow/orangish look which is what I was hoping for. The problem was that that shit has a tendency to get on your shirt collar, so I looked like I had Cheetos for lunch and used the back inside of my shirt collar for a napkin.

I worked the colouring into my goatee as well, so I had to be mindful of eating/drinking and turning things like a cheesburger and many pint glasses of Shiner/Sierra Nevada orangish yellow. Fortunately, this turned out to be not a problem after all. Go team.

The nametag held up all night, I am proud to say, as did the bat. Hooray!

The evening opened with a stop at the Hula Hut on Lake Austin. They front the place as a mixture of Mexican food and Polynesian. Mexinesian, if you will. The food itself was not bad, if a little pricy. I had a Hawaiian style burger and a beer for starters.

I think the oddest part was that I was the only one there in a costume for starters. While I did have "normal" clothes in the car to change into, I decided against it because I didn't see the point. After all, it's not like I was having high tea with the Queen or anything, so I think whoever had a problem with my unorthodox dinnerwear could just get stuffed.

Eventually, a group of people showed up shortly thereafter dressed in costume (including a banana) so I was not alone. I caught the attention of the bartender who was rather amused that I dressed up as Shaun.

"Where's the cricket bat?" he asked.

"At the table," I replied.

"Dude, I have to see that," he grinned.

I walked back a few moments later and presented it. He replied with a free beer. How's that for awesome?

My colleagues and I headed down to 4th street with the good intentions of starting there and working our way to 6th. I rarely go down 6th anymore, especially not on Halloween weekend, but since I was with a herd, anything was possible.

Well, we didn't end up leaving 4th. We ended up in some bar called "Six", which was alright. The place has two floors inside and an outside bar on the roof for smoking convienence, so I didn't really care if we moved or not.

The strange part of the evening was that wherever we walked after the bar, I did not run into one zombie. Not one. Hell, I didn't even run into any other Shauns, but that was alright in my book. I felt a whole hell of a lot more original than the umpteen mob bosses, greek philosophers, pimps and the like.

I find it hard to believe that I was the only one, but still. No zombies though? Damnit was I robbed of a good photo opportunity or what?!?

Overall, it was an interesting evening. People either knew who Shaun was and were impressed or had no idea who the hell I was and shook their heads. Either way, I was most amused with some of the looks people were giving.

Going to wear it again tomorrow, but I think it'll be more low key of an evening. We shall see!

Time To Rock, Rock On! - Pt. 2

The big challenge was creating the cricket bat.

I started off by checking out how that guy (the one I mentioned in the previous post) did it. Some cardboard, a stake from a sign, contact paper and a whole mess of hot glue.

I considered the situation at hand before I realized that I actually already had a vital piece of the cricket bat puzzle. The t-ball bat!

I wrapped the handle with duct tape and somewhat followed the directions contained on the website. The t-ball bat actually gave a slight curve to deal with, so I used that to my advantage. Some cricket bats actually come with a bit of a curve on the back, so I fashioned the cardboard around like that so that the striking side was straight while the back had a bit of a bend to it.

I hot glued the snot out of the cardboard pieces and surprisingly, I had something that was vaguely cricket bat shaped. I let the sucker dry overnight before I wrapped the entire cardboard with "wood" contact paper.

Once that was done, I added a little more duct tape to the tip and handle edges of the bat to keep the contact paper neatly assembled.

Then, I grabbed the bottle of fake blood and applied to the "smacking side" of the bat. I set that to dry for a couple hours and this is the result (front, back, side and a preview action shot!):

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Hotel?

Seriously, Hollywood, stop ruining each and every cherished childhood memory...

First Transformers and now GI Joe. If Michael Bay directs this one as well...

Prepare for the Apocalypse. Heh.

Time To Rock, Rock On!

After much deliberation, I decided to choose Shaun for this year's Halloween costume. It was indeed a daunting task of sorts because while certain items such as fake blood, white collared shirt, black pants/shoes/belt and a red pen are easy to come by, certain things like the authentic red-striped tie, "Foree Electric" name badge and the gorram cricket bat, are not.

So far, I've actually done fairly well improvising.

Let's start with the basics:

White collared shirt - Check.
Black pants, shoes, belt and socks - Check.
Fake blood - Check.
Two Red Pens (one for display, one to break so that ink flows majestically in the shirt pocket) - Check.
Orangish fake hair colour (the kind that'll brush/wash out) for a light hair colour adjustment - Check.

So far, so good.

Now, the tie is fairly hard to come by in keeping with the exact style, however I found one that in my opinion is close enough for disco. I can dig it, yo.

For the nametag, I started scouring office supply stores for blank, red, hard plastic name badges. The kind that are real hard plastic, not the flimsy see through "nametag holder" or the plain "Hello, my Name Is" sticker variety.

No dice.

So, I executed Plan 01A:

Behold!

Some judicious DVD pausing here and a little photoshopping there and here is the result. One faux nametag, complete with the British spelling of "Adviser" instead of "Advisor." I'm actually pretty proud of that handiwork. Yaay, me.

I printed out a copy on a 4x5 label, then trimmed around the edge of the nametag. Afterwards, I sprayed the sucker with some photo protectant and let it dry.

Next, I peeled off the label and placed it on top of one of those flimsy see through nametag holders, the ones that allow you to pin the finished badge to your shirt. I positioned the label centered horizontally and vertically to just flush right below the top plastic strip so that I could bend the small plastic strip behind the badge so that I can attach a safety pin to my shirt without having it visible.

Once I had the label in place, I trimmed off the excess label and nametag holder (except for the top plastic strip) so that it was even all the way around. I then fed a flat sided safety pin through the plastic strip with the clasp facing outward. I next hot glued the rest of the strip in place so that the badge wouldn't bend unnaturally.

I'm going to let the nametag dry overnight. Actually, I made two of them in case there is a spillage of beer. The layer of photo protectant will help keep things clean in cases of the occasional drop, but it is far from being a miracle worker against a torrent of liquid.

With that done, I am now faced with a final dilemma: the cricket bat.

I tried to get an authentic bat, but since cricket is not very common here in the states, let alone in Tejas, I wasn't having a ton of luck. After surveying a ton of options, I came up empty-handed. Realizing a bit too late, I supposed that my last effort would have been to search e-bay, but getting one in time? Yeeeeeahhh, right.

So, I was a bit discouraged last night. I just went out and bought a gorram pansy-assed wooden t-ball bat (ever TRIED to find a man-sized wooden bat in friggin' October?) and prepared to just accept it.

Then...

I found this.

This fellow seemed to have it figured out. Cardboard, a stick, some contact paper, a shitload of hot glue and some gaffer's tape. The idea is brilliant.

I'm all about creating the homemade costume and I do believe I can go the distance and gin one of these up this evening, if all goes well. It'll be a daunting task, but I could use a challenge so we shall see how it goes!

Beyond that, I have to bloody up the shirt and squirt a handsome amount of red ink into the shirt pocket tonight. Possibly bloody the bad up a bit if I can manage.

Either way, tomorrow night should be enlightening and hopefully a picture or three will ensue!

Beating A Dead Clothes Horse...

A colleague of mine observed that I lack a sense of fashion style.

Perhaps it is in part due to the fact that five days out of any given week, I am clad in the company issued polo shirt, one of the many pairs of khaki pants in my collection and a good hardy pair of hiking boots. My work outfit is my daily armour that tells the world, "here stands a competent, trustworthy editor of video and purveyor of treasured memories."

There is rarely an opportunity for self-expression in clothing choices so I find myself wearing khaki. A lot.

Not that I'm necessarily bothered by this. Truth be told, I haven't worn a pair of jeans since Clinton was in office. I've never been a fan of jeans, nor have I ever found them attractive looking on either myself or the rest of humanity in general, so I can't say that not being allowed to wear jeans has inconvenienced me in any way.

When I'm at home or on my days off, I'm frequently in either my pajama pants and t-shirt, shorts and shirt (t-shirt or decent looking shirt), swim suit and t-shirt or pants (khaki or coloured) and a nice shirt. Usually in my sandals/flip flops (is there no word(s) more foul and cheap-sounding than "sandals" and "flip flops" in the English language?) or a good pair of casual shoes, I rarely find a reason to "look hot" on my days/hours off.

I suppose my lack of "fashion sense" dates back to the parental units who frowned upon designers and expensive frippery. Their position is understandable because they had to raise four boys who would outgrow clothes faster than you could say "growth hormone."

The other parental notion is that while one should not appear in public as a complete slob, there was no sense in squandering a week's salary on one expensive shirt and a pair of slacks when you could purchase an entire weeklong wardrobe for about the same price. Designer labels were meaningless unless they were on deeeeeeeeeeeeep discount.

I can't say that this ever bothered me once I left the "coolness" obsessed teenage years and entered adulthood. I rarely go shopping for clothes, but when I do, I'm looking for good quality at rock bottom prices.

Not that I'm clueless to what is fashionable by any stretch. For a period of time, I dated a gal who worked at a couple of the more prestigious clothing stores. Unlike myself, she WAS quite the clothes horse, so I was treated to lectures regarding the proper seasons to wear white, why one should tuck in their shirt but untuck it just enough to not look geeky and what color hosiery goes perfect with that new skirt and shoes that she just bought herself.

Even though she was a total stuck up bitch most of the time, she did know indeed how to dress. There were a few rare occassions where I actually felt embarassed for not matching the level of her hotness on particular dates.

I still retained the knowledge passed to me by my former SO to this very day, though I rarely admit it. Or care, actually. If you look hot, I'll tell you. If I look hot, it's either a miracle or a special occasion.

Ladies, you have been properly warned.

I suppose I at least have the decency to be decently dressed when around others. There are some people in this world who have no problem answering the front door in their boxers and nothing else. I am not one of those.

Still, it's odd. I've been talking about and taking baby steps towards changing myself. Been feeling so goddamned lost over the past two years that I'm wondering if I could do with a change of style to help the process out a little.

A new, non-surferish hair cut perhaps?

A strict exercise (not that I shouldn't be doing that regardless) regimen to improve the physique?

Or perhaps a different colour of work pants at the very least. I suppose that's as good a place to start as any...

Query...

Having quite a time deciding my costume for Halloween this year. So far, here are my options...

1) Shaun from Shaun of the Dead.

Cricket bat may be sort of hard to come by, but the rest of the getup shouldn't be too challenging to scrounge up. Shouldn't be. A white dress short sleeve shirt, a red tie, grow a goatee and let a little splatter of red ink in the front pocket of the shirt.

Could potentially be a rather common sight around town though. At least from a theory that I completely just pulled from my ass but I shall pass off as SCIENCE anyway!

2) Mooby's Funployee.

May recognize this getup if you are familiar with Kevin Smith's films.

Pretty basic nametag, only $5. I found a Mooby's type shirt in town that is way cheaper. May not be as authentic, but is close enough. Go as Randal or Dante? Hrmm.

3) The 10th Doctor from Doctor Who.

Shouldn't be too challenging if I pay a visit to the local Goodwill, however the reference is pretty obscure. The costume itself would be (apart from the young, stylish footwear) eerily similar to the typical Mob Boss type costume.

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That's what's going through my brain at the moment. More later as I think of them... Thoughts?

Oh My Science! - With new link goodness!

Everytime I see this, I can't help but to die in laughter.

Having been a fan of both Buck Rogers and South Park for years, I assign the rank of Awesome to this. What amazes me is how well SP tried to match the original while putting their own twist of course.

Communist Milk...

A little hilarity for the day.

I wonder if it's beyond obvious to anyone that Vietnam lacks any territory that even remotely resembles the Wisconsinesque landscape depicted in the ad. Heh.

Oh, Sinner Do Not Stray...

This.

I'm going to start by saying that I'm not one bit surprised. Is it just me or do televangelism and scandal seem go together like water and oil. The "Message of Salvation & Eternal Truth" is often buried by the slick of corruption and greed:

* Jim Bakker and PTL

* Jimmy Swaggart's Crusade of Hypocrisy (namely going after his fellow TV pastors while he was busy blessing prostitutes with his own personal Holy Water.)

* Oral Roberts' "The Lord commanded me to raise $8 Million or else he'll call me home" adventure.

* Jerry Falwell and opening his mouth.

I've railed enough on the subject before, but I just don't see how so many people are so willing to hitch their eternal wagons to these holy rollers.