Alright, dude, keep it together. We have a lot to get done today so let's just tuck in and keep things on track today.

The Pile beckoned. I knew I had a few things to get done today, so I didn't hesitate in diving in. I grabbed the first three orders due by tomorrow and eased myself into my office chair.

The first few hours progressed rather quickly. I loaded up the assorted videotapes into the appropriate machines and prepped some 8mm film footage for transfer. Everything seemed to be progressing smoothly until...

*plop*

Ah, damnit, that was smooth, mate. You dropped one.

I had accidentally dropped a reel on the floor just as I was preparing to load it into the 8mm transfer rig. Dropping a reel doesn't damage 8mm film whatsoever, but it is a pain whenever it happens because it usually falls beneath the table that the 8mm machine rests on. This usually results in having to get out of my chair and crouching down to retrieve said wayward footage which isn't usually a difficult or risky proposition...

*Riiiiiiiiiipppppppp!*

Ah, bloody hell! Did I do what I thought I just did?

A cursory examination of the fabric covering my lower posterior was rather revealing. Literally.

"FUCKING HELL!" I swore disgustedly as I stood and turned my head to get a better view of the situation, "Hellbollocksshitfecker!"

A muffled voice, that of a fellow co-worker, queried from the adjacent room, "You alive in there?"

"Yeah," I grumbled, "but I done ripped my fuckin' britches!"

*silence*

"You done what?" my co-worker asked from beyond the safety of my editing cave.

"My pants! I ripped the damn things."

I could instantly hear a muffled peal of laughter through the wall.

Apparently, my shame was of instant comedic value. Rightly so. Ripping one's pants, while embarrassing, can be really damned hilarious in certain situations. He was right to laugh, so no faults there.

"Suck it, assnut," I fired back, "it's not that funny!"

Co-worker coughed briefly between guffaws, "Yeah, IT IS that funny!"

Good point. I started to chuckle a bit before joining him in a hearty chuckalicious laughing fit.

Finally, the laughter died down and my co-worker decided that he'd had his fill of jocularity this morning and he decided to be helpful.

"What do you need?" he queried.

I considered this for a minute. What I really needed was a new pair of pants, a beer and a steak, but I needed to be practical. The nearest pair of work pants that I have was fairly far away and my schedule was rather busy today, so I knew that some speedy ingenuity and improvisation was required.

*thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink*

"Want me to grab you a lab coat?" he asked kindly.

"Yeah," I sighed as I resigned myself to my fate, "that'll work! Lemme find something in here to temporarily cover my ass because I have no idea which of those fits well enough to pull this off."

Another chuckle. "Ok, just don't come out of there naked or anything. Don't think anyone wants to lose their lunch today from such a ghastly vision."

Ever so helpful, my co-workers. Didn't help that for the remainder of the day, people kept calling me "Doctor."

Heh.