India

Lords. I have two extra days off now. What the hell am I supposed to do?

What, because of SUPER ICY DEATH STORM WATCH OVER TEJAS 2007?

Yep. Whole friggin' state shuts down anytime there's a cup in the road. I swear.

What do you expect in a state that is bloody well 120,456 degrees in the summertime, which seems to last 10 months out of the year? Winter lasts, what, two or three days?

Now who's the genius science wizard blowing things out of proportion? 120,456 degrees indeed. It gets super off road hot here, but c'mon. If it ever got that hot, we'd be clouds of vapour or something. Dumbass.

Yeah, well you smell like roasted onions. And peach chutney.

Ooo, that was original. Wait. We're going to be stuck in the same house together for the next 48 hours with nothing but a pan of leftover lasanga, a twelve pack of Mountain Dew, a twelve of pale ale, two packs of cigarettes and a box of vanilla-caramel flavoured Drumsticks. Do we really need to sit here and bitch at each other when we have a major supply shortage crisis in the works?

Good gods! We won't last the night, let alone two days! It'll be like the Donner party, except with better hygeine and we'll be in a controlled-heat enviornment instead of being lost in the Sierra Nevadas!

Speaking of Sierras...

*kaffsshhhhh!*

Ahhhhhh! Pale ale goodness. Hell, I could probably keep these suckers cold outside if I wanted to. Hell part deaux, I could probably even drink these suckers outside so that they retain maximum chilled temperature goodness. Oooohhh, yeaaahhh.

Idiot, the temperature outside is twenty-eight wind chill factor outside of seventeen degrees.

Idiot, I KNOW that. That's why they make jackets.

You're pretty hellbent on contracting another illness, aren't you?

No, I'm just rather bored. Seriously bored. I was off work today and sat on my ass playing games and reading McCaffrey's "The White Dragon" - again. When I wasn't doing that, I was watching old Doctor Who stories and wishing to myself that I was doing something more creative or something totally devoid of common sense.

Such as your frozen beerfest idea?

Yeah. I mean, what the hell else is there to do when it's this crappy outside and you live in a state where absolutely NO ONE knows how to navigate the roadways intelligently enough to grant a certain level of safe passage to the Baskin Robbins? I had a brief notion of filling Katy's old swimming pool full of water and waiting for it to freeze so that the squirrels and other small, woodland creatures would have a place to ice skate. That's how bored I am.

Barring that foolishness, having a beer and a smoke outside sounded well and good enough to pass an otherwise boring twenty minutes or so of my life.

Well, why don't you write a story or something constructive?

Pifff, that won't work. I haven't had much to say in months.

Umm... Ok...

Hang on, Voice. I need to go put a few of these brews outside to chill. Back in a bit...