Foxtrot

Happy New Year!

Aren't we a couple days late for that, Voice #7?

Do we ever get anything done on time?

Point taken, if exaggerated quite a bit.

So, what resolutions have you made?

Resolutions?

You know what I'm talking about, don't play dumb.

Are you always this direct?

Quit Amtrakking and answer the damn question.

Geez, Voice, no need to get nasty about it.

Well?!?

I didn't make any.

For all that's good and sacred... Why didn't you just tell me that the first time instead of...

Instead of leading you down the primrose path of distraction? Don't know really. My first theory is that I'm getting tired of talking to myself. It's not solving anything. Just like New Year's resolutions. They're just the same "feel good" crap we spoonfeed ourselves and later regret when we fail to keep to them.

Lovely answer, Mr. Negative Stephens, Esq.

Do you blame me?

Perhaps you tell yourself that so that you avoid making changes in your life.

More likely I tell myself that because if I didn't, I'd waste even more time debating whether or not I should. Figure that one out, smartass.

Which is exactly what you are doing right now...

Really? I hadn't noticed.

And like sarcasm from the Fountain of Cynicism...

So are the days of our lives? You can't seriously be using that lame duck of a joke. That one went out with saddle shoes, man. Try again, Voice.

Ok, never mind. Look, did you ever in your life make a New Year's resolution?

Yeah. In third grade, I vowed to stop tormenting my teacher and fellow students with my production of fake fart noises.

And did you keep it?

Sure I did. I made real farts instead.

Isn't that trading one bad habit with another?

Pretty much. The beatings I'd get in return from my teacher and classmates for my cutting loose a good loud blast of the asshorn during class were indescribible.

I swore after that that if I did make any resolutions in the future, I'd be sure to break them as soon as possible. That way, I'd keep my nose and teeth in their original, fixed positions.

But surely you can see that a resolution is little more than a goal that you set for yourself? You must set goals for yourself, don't you?

Nah. Goal setting is for those who play soccer. A goal is something that is finite, whereas how you make that goal is not. You can kick a ball one of a thousand different ways, but the ball rarely follows the projected flight path. That it isn't intercepted or deflected along the way is purely left up to chance, physics, climate AND skill. Either way, the only point is to get into the net.

I purely make choices. I decide what I want in this life, plan how to get there and work at it. Plans change, life changes. What I want in this life isn't a goal, because what I want can change quicker than I can type this response. I have to accept the fact that I'm a willow on the wind and I could be splatted by a flock of rabid flamingos tomorrow. Or not.

I can see having dreams and working to make those dreams a reality. But as a realist, I accept that I'm powerless when it comes to avoiding cheddar cheese on crackers.

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To Be Continued